To Suit a Suitor Read online

  Miss North smiled, obviously thinking he was exaggerating. “Have you ever considered just picking one of the many young ladies you frequently encounter, and courting her to appease your mother? At least then she wouldn’t worry over you anymore.”

  He looked at her with raised eyebrows. With a gentle shake of his head he explained, “You really don’t know my mother if you think that. If I were to give any young lady even a hint that I intended to court her, my mother would start planning the wedding. The pressure would not abate; it would increase tenfold.”

  Henry was watching her in profile as she laughed at that. And he could see that from her point of view his predicament must seem a little ridiculous. Reluctantly he smiled too. “It is quite a farce, isn’t it?”

  “It’s obvious to even an outsider like me that your mother loves you very much,” she replied. “If your biggest misfortune in life is too much love, you are fortunate indeed.” As soon as the words were said, she suddenly turned toward him with a horrified look that at first quite startled Henry. “I don’t mean you, but rather one … one whose misfortune is too much love. I, I wasn’t … or rather I didn’t mean to imply that you have not had much worse misfortune …”

  Interestingly, Henry had been feeling today like his mother really was his greatest trial in life. He hated to admit it, but Miss Corey was fading from his memory. He noticed that Miss North was looking extremely embarrassed. Trying to reassure her, he said, “I understood your meaning. Do not trouble yourself about it. You are right. Compared to others, I have very little to complain of.” But still she kept her gaze averted.

  After a moment of uncomfortable silence passed, his horse suddenly nudged its head between them. An involuntary squeal emerged from Miss North and she jumped to the edge of the path. His horse was startled by her reaction, causing it to prance quickly back from them and shake its mane as it huffed out a startled noise too.

  Miss North regained her composure quickly, or at least tried to. Henry could hear a tremor in her voice as she let out a nervous giggle and said, “Oh, that startled me. I’m sorry to have distressed your horse like that. He just took me by surprise is all.”

  Henry gave her a questioning look. She was obviously very frightened by his horse, but was not about to admit it. “What were you saying before?” she asked.

  She so obviously didn’t want to discuss the fact that she was terrified of a horse. Henry gave her one more long look before replying, “As I was saying, I have much to be grateful for.” He thought about all the blessings in his life, despite losing Miss Corey. Keeping it light, he said, “My health … my horse …” After a longer pause he added, “My horse’s health.”

  She laughed at his quip, which is exactly what he had hoped for. “And a wonderful mother,” she said decisively, seeming to regain her confidence. His humor had erased her embarrassment so much more effectively than his reassurance.

  “And a wonderful mother,” he conceded. “Thank you for reminding me. Perhaps as a repayment I could teach you how to ride.”

  Her smile instantly disappeared. A flush crept up her cheeks and she turned away from him. Henry couldn’t help but notice, even looking at just her profile, how the pink in her cheeks made her cheekbones more prominent and she looked even more beautiful. By her embarrassed reaction, it was obvious that she hated to be so transparent. She didn’t answer right away, and he could tell she was trying to think of a polite way to say no or, more likely, an excuse. She finally looked back at him and shook her head, “I’d rather not.”

  Henry had learned how to be persistent from the many young ladies he had known and he used that skill now by not letting her turn him down. He just acted as though she had said yes. “We can start tomorrow if you would like. I can meet you after breakfast. But we should meet in one of the back pastures so my mother doesn’t find out. She would think a simple horse riding lesson was reason to plan a wedding.” Then remembering that Miss North had just convinced him to be grateful for his mother, he tacked on, “It’s really to spare her feelings that we should meet in private.”

  There was no hesitation this time as she replied, “I don’t particularly want to learn how to ride a horse. But thank you for offering.”

  Henry stopped on the path, and his horse took several steps closer before stopping too and bending down to graze. Miss North had stopped when he had, but took a telling extra step away as his horse approached them.

  “This is Felix,” Henry said, reaching his hand out to pat his horse on the neck. “He’s a very athletic horse, but he is very calm around people.” He paused, wondering if that reassurance would be enough for her to approach. It wasn’t. “I have several gentle horses that you could take your pick from. Why don’t you try it just once?”

  Miss North looked a bit desperate as she responded, “I just don’t think it’s necessary. Why should I learn to ride when I can always walk or go by carriage?”

  “There are plenty of reasons,” he responded. Miss North looked up suddenly, as if she feared what the reasons might be. Henry felt curious about her response, but continued, “As much as we rely on horses, it doesn’t seem wise to fear them. In many ways, riding is safer. At least the rider is in control. In a carriage, you are completely at the mercy of the driver.” Perhaps he shouldn’t have given that reason, but it was the one that carried the most weight with him.

  Miss North visibly swallowed and nodded. “I understand why you would think so, but it seems to me that when you are riding, you would be at the mercy of the horse.” As if to further emphasize, she gestured toward Felix and said, “He could decide to run away with you any time and you’d be stuck up there on his back.”

  The thought had never crossed Henry’s mind. “That would never happen with my horses,” he reassured. “They are too well trained to even consider it. They are so calm, in fact, that you might find you actually like it.” Then thinking of one more reason, he added, “Besides, I can’t stand the thought of a friend of mine being terrified of horses when I could help it.”

  Miss North scrunched her eyes shut for a moment, as if gaining courage, and said, “Very well. I’ll try, at least once, to learn to ride.”

  Henry didn’t realize how much he really wanted her to agree until she said yes. He was pleased with the small victory. And wanting to build on that, he asked, “Will you come with me now to return Felix to the stable?”

  She hesitated again before saying, “I don’t think I should. You wouldn’t want anyone to see us together and jump to a false conclusion after all. I’ll just finish my walk.”

  Henry was surprised by her again. He wasn’t used to being told no even once, but Miss North did it repeatedly. Every young lady he knew wanted to be seen with him. He was intrigued by her and began to wonder if spending more time with her would lead to something more. He had avoided anything of the sort for so long, but now the thought of moving on only caused a brief feeling of guilt, quickly replaced by anticipation as he thought of spending more time with Miss North.

  Henry wouldn’t let her walk away until she had arranged to meet him during her morning walk in three day’s time in a pasture out of sight of Barrington Court. He would have liked to start sooner, but he had remembered that Mr. Dunn would be arriving sometime today and would stay for at least one night, possibly two if he could convince him. Hopefully they could finally conclude their business. Henry was certain that he had finally convinced Mr. Dunn that their agreement would be to everyone’s benefit and Henry anticipated the pride he would feel at finally accomplishing something on his own.

  He let Felix graze a few more moments as he watched Miss North walk down the path until a bend took her from his view. She didn’t look back once. It made him want to pursue her even more. Henry pulled Felix reluctantly away from his patch of grass to return to the stable.

  Miss Abbot had told him once that his heart would heal when he wasn’t noticing. He hadn’t believed her then; it hadn’t seemed possible. But perhaps she had bee
n right after all, and perhaps it was her own cousin, Miss North, who had helped him realize it.

  Miss Abbot had always lived in Barrington and had always been a good friend of his mother. But it was after Miss Corey’s death that the older lady became his friend as well. After the funeral, she had been the first person whose words had actually been comforting. He had never known her history but she had told him how she had also lost the only one she had ever loved before their wedding. Just knowing he wasn’t the only one to ever feel that overwhelming pain helped enough that when Miss Abbot suggested he leave for a time while he grieved, he had been able to make that decision. She had given a compelling reason. “You will be allowed to grieve for a short time, but your friends and your family will want to see you happy again. Every young lady who was filled with disappointment when you announced your engagement is now filled with false sorrow and hope.” Henry couldn’t have put it into words as she had, but he had already sensed the same thing. He had received too many looks of pity while his hands were squeezed for uncomfortably long moments not to notice. Miss Abbot’s advice had been so true. She had said, “It’s going to be miserable for a time. Just let yourself be miserable. Keep taking care of yourself, don’t stay in one place too long, send plenty of letters home to your parents, and just be as sad as you want through it all.”

  Incapable of even making a decision, he had asked, “How long should I be gone for? Until I’m ready for my mother to find me a new bride? I’ll never return.”

  “You may never be ready for a new bride, but you should still come home. Come back when you feel like you can cope with your mother.” She had smiled because she knew how his mother was, but they were still dear friends. “Time will be the best thing for you, Henry. Even though you can’t imagine it now, someday while you aren’t paying attention, your heart will heal and you’ll be ready to fall in love again.”

  Henry had hated it when every other person had said something similar, but Miss Abbot’s words had been comforting. Knowing she had had the same experience made all the difference. He hadn’t truly believed her words for himself. But now, that long ago sadness had been so muted that he hardly felt it. Time and the arrival of Miss North may have been just what his heart had needed.

  A

  Chapter 11

  On the morning of her riding lesson, Julia’s maid helped her dress in her simplest gown with sturdy fabric. Her maid’s quiet, “Are you sure you want this ‘un, miss?” as she pulled the buttons together let her know the gown wasn’t flattering, but she didn’t have a riding habit, so this would have to do. She made the same kind of choices with her gloves and bonnet, choosing the ones she cared about least for this unknown adventure.

  Julia hoped Martha wouldn’t notice her nervousness. She had never wanted to learn to ride and had admitted to herself that the reason was that she was a bit afraid of horses. When Mr. Chamberlain’s horse had surprised her the other day, it had been an intense panic that made her jump away in fright. But still, she had thought her fear was because it had been so unexpected. Now that she had agreed to a lesson with Mr. Chamberlain, she realized she was more afraid than she even knew. Her stomach swirled and her breakfast stayed on her plate. Julia wanted to spend the rest of her life in Barrington, enjoying quiet breakfasts and peaceful walks, so it was imperative that Martha not find out she was meeting Mr. Chamberlain. Her cousin would never want a companion who went directly against her wishes. Julia’s first goal was to get an invitation to return permanently after Harriet’s wedding; learning to ride was part of her back-up plan if she still had to return to London and try to find a husband. At least it would be one flaw out of the way.

  She was overly cheerful when she announced her intention to go walking. But she had done the same thing every morning of her visit and her cousin was so used to her habit that she didn’t seem to notice.

  Julia had to walk about a mile before arriving at the pasture Mr. Chamberlain had designated for their lesson. As she walked, she tried again to talk herself out of being fascinated by him. But the more she knew of him, the more he consumed her thoughts. She was beginning to realize that it was more than his circumstances as a tragic hero that she found so interesting. When she was with him, their conversation consumed all her attention, a trick he had obviously perfected. Yet even though she knew he had no interest in her beyond friendship, she had to reluctantly admit that he was often on her mind.

  She saw Mr. Chamberlain waiting for her with two horses, saddled and grazing. She glanced around, wondering whom the second horse was for. She saw at the far side of the pasture that there was a man who must be a groom leaning against a tree, but it was quite obvious that their distant chaperone wouldn’t be joining in the lesson. Her nervous gaze returned to Mr. Chamberlain. He watched her approach and Julia briefly wondered if he thought her dress was hideous, but there was a much more pressing issue. “Why do I need two horses to learn to ride?”

  He glanced at the horses and back at her, “One is for you and I’ve brought Felix for me.”

  “We’re both riding?” she asked with alarm in her voice.

  He looked concerned, like he didn’t know what she expected, or what he should say. Julia had thought she would sit on a horse for a few minutes while Mr. Chamberlain led it around in circles. Harriet had taken a few lessons years ago, and that was all Julia had observed from a safe distance.

  She raised her hands to her cheeks and looked at the horses again. She recognized Felix; he was brown. The new horse was honey-colored and must be for her. She realized her hands had drifted to her mouth and she was biting at a nail through her glove. She pulled her hands back quickly and turned to Mr. Chamberlain, who was watching her with a concerned look. “Miss North, we’ll start very slow, and I won’t make you do anything that’s too difficult.” He finished with an encouraging smile that felt completely patronizing to Julia.

  That patronizing smile was all too familiar. It was the exact expression that he used for Miss Clifton. He was looking at her in just the same way and she felt pathetic. Another reminder that she shouldn’t be fascinated by him. For her, every conversation with Mr. Chamberlain drew her to him more. But he saw her just the same as he saw all the other infatuated young ladies who threw themselves at him.

  His condescending smile was the challenge she needed. She wasn’t any less afraid, but she could face it. “I am frightened of horses, which means this will be difficult no matter what, but I’ll manage.” She said it with a determined nod of her head and took a few steps closer to the horses. She couldn’t quite touch them, but she reached a hand toward the honey-colored horse and asked, “What’s this one’s name?”

  When Mr. Chamberlain didn’t answer after a moment she looked up to find him regarding her thoughtfully. She thought that his slight smile looked to be admiring now. Ridiculous. Her words had showed her determined nature. Her mother had insisted she always act demurely with all the gentlemen of her acquaintance because her spirited behavior would be found objectionable to any man.

  He finally replied, “Pegasus. Your horse’s name is Pegasus.” Julia was alarmed again, but before she could protest riding a horse with that name, he said, “Relax, he doesn’t fly. It’s hard to get Pegasus to move above a trot. I named him as a pony and he just never lived up to his name.”

  “Pegasus.” Julia slowly nodded her head, looking at Mr. Chamberlain; then she turned to look at the horse she would ride. “Thank you for not living up to your name.”

  Her acceptance signaled the beginning of the lesson and Mr. Chamberlain was very calm and confident as he named and described everything. He patted her horse down his neck as he spoke and encouraged her to come closer and do the same. Knowing Pegasus was such a lazy horse really helped her confidence, and for the first time ever, Julia touched a horse voluntarily.

  With a big grin at her progress, Mr. Chamberlain said, “The last thing is mounting, but I didn’t want to haul a mounting block all the way out here, so I will help you o
nto your horse. And of course your sidesaddle is facing left, but you always mount from the left anyway.”

  He closed the distance between them and Julia drew in a quick breath and froze. Her body must have visibly stiffened because Mr. Chamberlain paused with his hands reaching for her waist.

  “Don’t be frightened. I promise Pegasus won’t run off with you.”

  He thought it was her fear of horses that had caused her reaction. She hadn’t been thinking that Pegasus would run off with her, but now that he had reminded her of the idea, it was as alarming as his nearness. He was waiting for her response.

  “Are you certain?” she asked nervously.

  “Yes.”

  “What would you do if he did? You can’t ever really be in control of an animal that has a mind of its own.”

  He was standing quite close and Julia was entranced at the amusement in his eyes and the quirk of his mouth as he said, “Trust me, I know this horse and he tries to never run, but if he did today for any reason, then you could pull hard on the reins to stop him, and if that didn’t work then Felix and I would run after you and save you.”

  Julia turned to stare at the saddle on Pegasus’s back so Mr. Chamberlain wouldn’t see her smile at that. Turning back, she said, “I trust you. I’m ready.”

  His eyes looked like he was admiring her again, but Julia didn’t focus on that. She was looking down as his hands wrapped around her waist. She quickly placed her hands on his forearms to keep her balance as he lifted her into the saddle. Even through her gloves she could feel his muscles tighten as he lifted her.

  Mr. Chamberlain picked up the reins, handed them to her, and walked over to Felix. He pulled himself up in a fluid movement and turned to her, smiling. “Shall we have a race, Miss North?”

  Julia glanced down at the beast she was riding and had no control over, and then met Mr. Chamberlain’s eyes with false pity. “I’ll spare you the embarrassment of losing to a novice like me. No race today.”